Wednesday, June 09, 2010
my job in a nutshell
11:46 PM
Initial stage:
- Read truckload of reports and articles
- Read somemore
- Form an opinion about what you have read (optional)
- If opinion in 3 doesn't put company in a good position, go to step 5
- Change your opinion
- Pull out evidence from truckload to support opinion "formed" in 5
- If data challenges opinion in 5, use pretty words to replace those gloomy, depressing ones. Otherwise, draw flowers
- All else fail, burn those data
- Google profusely to find data which you need (which most likely does not and will never exist)
- Significant time has passed, another truckload of updates have emerged from analysts, journalists, competitors, conferences, talks....
- Continue from step 6
- Continue process till cows come home OR reaching brink of insanity OR presentation/report is due OR found something more interesting and/or meaningful to do like counting the specks of dust on laptop screen
Vetting stage:
- When points are short - "please eleborate more, I don't see the link clearly"
- When points are long - "please cut down on the number of words"
- When certain points are not included - "please include this, that, and that also, ya this too.."
- When points are added in - "I think you can take this out, it's not that important"
- Continue process until the presentation/report becomes how the person vetting imagines it to be in the first freaking place but just can't be bothered to do themselves
In short,
- you can only have 1 opinion - good
- you can do everything in anyway you want, as long as the final results look exactly like how it was intended to be all along
What I have learnt:
- Presentors should just do their own presentations
- I have yet to find anything I rather not do compared to this