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Saturday, September 04, 2010
11:31 PM

I feel really realllly reallllly tired.
And I dont quite know what to do with myself.
Sometimes I feel too old for my age.
Too tired.
Too jaded.

I've only interviewed people twice in my life.
Once 2 years ago, once just this week.
I don't know if I have grown within these 2 years,
but I think I have changed.

I think more, wonder more, and somehow, am more confused.
There were people who were so... bland, that I can hardly remember them nor know what to make of them.
It was like... no matter what questions I asked, the answers I got were general, generic, normal.

And then I would try to break the monotonous by asking about a life changing moment in their life, but only to find out that there were none.

I used to write these people off, dump their forms into the pile of unsuccessful applicants and that's that.

But now, I feel strangely affected by these people. I wonder if I ever appeared like that to others and how many people out there are like that. Bland, normal, someone who will leave people and places with nothing more than a vague memory that someone (could have been anyone) was there.

And those with no life changing moments to speak of, well, they bore me. We once took in a girl just because of a life story she shared with us. It made her human, left her mark on us. I found her intriging and felt like I want to really know her. If someone had no moments to talk about, then he/she has never felt pain nor sorrow. And that just makes he/she seem less real.

Then there was the rare, occasional idealists. And I wonder if I was ever like that. All about saving the world and believing in dreams.

Sometimes I feel like I talk about the things I do because that's what people want to hear and not because I really give a damn. I hate feeling that way.

I am really rambling and this probably doesn't make any sense.


4 weeks madness 10:39 AM

The madness is semi-over. Before I drown in work again, I better get some chance to gloat.

BCA-CDL Green Sparks Competition 2010

We made it! I don't know how but we did it.
From the initial fears of not even being able to make it through the first round...
... to the relief of at least getting $1k...
... to the hopes of winning top 3...
... to the dashing of those hopes when we saw the TP teams...
... to the anticipation of being able to win again through some crazy psychoing from each other and seeing imaginary signs of us winning...
... to the results announcement of the consolation prizes (with 3 teams having the same first name as us)...
... to the last consolation prize (NOT us)...
... to the 3rd prize (NOT us)...
... to the 1st prize...

AND BOOM. IT's US (((((:

I am just glad this whole ordeal (yes, ordeal) ended on a high note. In the end, everyone (well, almost) pulled together and made it.

The winning team: kenix, eng kiat, xiangmin, fiona, zoe, lye meng, isaac, angeline, jian an and moi.

Press release from BCA!
http://www.bca.gov.sg/Newsroom/pr01092010_GS.html

Woohoo. My green portal played its part =D

Design Project

Probably the best project group I ever worked in. No slackers and we all complimented one another.

Despite the horrendously long hours in school, the deteriorating eyesights, the despair, the stupid autocad, the idiotic sidra, the skipping of lessons, the abandonment of every other module, the lack of food, the constant supervision of the pc cluster guy who insists we can't eat and drink in the cluster....

our drawings managed to impress and the questionings wasn't as horrible as imagined. On the contrary, it was quite an informal event where we ended up laughing at stupid mistakes and how none of us really wanted to claim credit for anything. (To quote prof chin "so this sign just magically appeared?")

Project E.M.P

Interviews are over at last. Though many people just didn't appear for the interview but those who did were good enough. Our interview criteria is probably different from others and even from the one I had before but we will see. Changes in progress.

More projects and deadlines ahead. More thoughts to post but not in the mood right now.