It takes a night to make it dawn.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

freedom day 1 11:57 PM

Whee!

Haven felt so relaxed in a long while. And yet productive!

I cleared and packed my room! In half a day! CHEN JIU OK! After abandoning it for 3 semesters, I am ready to move back home! Hope I can focus better at home than in pgp. It has been fun living in pgp but there's the digusting side too.. I am so bored so might as well weigh the pros and cons!

++++

random long talks with yan
I can get from school to "home" in about 15 minutes
anything I left at "home" can be retrieved in about 15 minutes

-----

I have gotten horribly sick of the school (esp pgp's) food
the dread I feel every sunday night when I pack to book in
the heat stroke inducing room
anything I left at the REAL home can only be retrieved in a week's time
became a hermit which never saw the light of day outside NUS in at least 5 days (I swear my perspective of the world literally became smaller)

Somehow the anti-social me never really got to mix around with my cluster mates nor the USP people. I always assumed we cant click but have I really tried? But somehow I cant feel the need, the want, to know more people. If people are meant to be your friends, they will be no matter how unfriendly you are right? That's my mentality anyway. Many of my close friends now arent even that close to me when I was classmates with them. And I certainly can think of one person whom I have grown much closer to in a single day than those who I have known for years. You either connect with people or you dont. Networking? It's plain crap if you ask me. People network at practical reasons. And these relationships will last as long as you serve your purpose. Cynical? Maybe.

But again, I will really like to try hall life. Shears Hall really looks inviting. And hall people just seem so bonded. Maybe I will never fit in. Then again, who knows.

Maybe I will miss having PGP as my di pan. But I guess I know enough of the school to declare that I was from NUS. I am amazed by people who dont know where the central forum is for like 2 sems and people who dont know where the halls are after duno how many sems.

BAH. The post didnt turn out the way I want it to. MUCH too serious!

On a lighter note, I played PS2 after duno how many months! And the new car is coming tml! And I am going settlers tml! with the crazy gang on sat.

Life is good.

For now.

Argh. Cant find this beautiful song I heard on Oprah anywhere! Got to settle for just the lyrics then!

Amy Grant - True Love

No one ever told me

During all those lonely tears I cried

That someday you would hold me

I just kept hoping inside

That true love was waiting

That true love would find me in time

That true love was waiting

That your love would finally be mine

No one ever showed me

Such care and tenderness

Darlin' you know me

And what moves me best

It's true love--waiting

True love, making up for lost time

True love waiting Your love, that's finally mine

I can't erase these lines on my face

I'd turn back time if I could

But all the years wanting, the desperate longing

Is maybe what makes it so good

True love waiting

True love that found us in time

True love waiting

Your love that's finally mine

Based on the singer's r/s with her husband. Moving isnt it?

it's over 12:55 AM

Give me an "O"!!!
Give me a "V"!!!
Give me a "E"!!!
Give me a "R"!!!

EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!!!!!!!!

I realised this morning that the last time I felt this way was about 7 months ago? No wonder the potential elated bliss (this morning) seemed foreign. My major exams have never been so far apart before (apart from the A lvl break...)

Alright. I am blabbering.

But I can afford to waste the time (((:

But I only have like 10 days left! So there is no time to lose, many friends to catch up before they abandon me for good and many much awaited and needed LONG heartfelt chats (note to self: call nong) with my good old friends. I need to talk and not just speak, and people to listen and not just hear.

Yes, age has made me cynical of life.

Many updates since the last I updated. I have moved on from the dismal of my essay (what else can I do? Sulk for a year?)

The ever slack-slacker-slackest me went for Avenue Q once my study break started. Yan was raving so much about it and with some totally random impromtu decision I went to catch it! No more running towards the esplanade with alarms ringing this time. Interesting how we were all deeply amused by these rude, obnoxious and obsene puppets but if the play were acted out by real humans I bet we would be severely disturbed. But all in all, the sex jokes were hilarious. Kinda wish I got the "It sucks to be me" shirt. I bet it will be my most worn shirt in no time at all.

And I realised I cant study alone in my house anymore. I either start stoning or thinking about random stuff from food to outings to why everytime I start sweating cause the wind stopped and I decide to go and bathe and once I am cool and fresh, the wind blows with a ferocity as if to mock me by freezing me to death, or just rolling around in bed. None of which I can do in a study group cause ssr and tb will probably think I have turned retarded or went into fits.

I am amazed at how ssr, tb and I can fit all our notes and stationeries (and food and drinks as the time goes by) into a table with a radius of at most 40cm. But a normal convo goes like...

"eh.. do you have that solution you copied from the tutor that time?"
"ya... I think so... but not sure where it is.."

*rummages through stacks of paper*

"is it this one? eh no... wait ah..."

*flip more paper. notes start dropping. tried to grab notes. stationery start falling. more hands try to grab everything from falling as everything is pushing everything else off the table*

"aiyo.. cannot find then nevermind..."
"maybe I have.."

*more start rummaging through stacks of paper*

"ah! it's this one right?"
"ya! thanks!"

*all return to work. 15 minutes had since passed*

"oh man.. dont know where I stopped already lo.."
"ya la.. me aso."

And the daily highlight is most definitely WI! We learnt that guys cant hula hoop. HAHAH. hor TB hor? And I punched ssr playing baseball. HAHA. But the most hilarious got to be boxing. ssr and I were dodging left and right and knocking into each other. By right all we had to do to dodge was to tilt the controllers but somehow we end up imitating the characters on the screen and slant our entire body and end up being so amused that I fell on the floor laughing.

After exams today somehow everyone bang-sehed, leaving ssr, phea, mich, syrukri, faizal and moi. Ended at some ulu mall in Bukit Timah to eat pizza and went beauty world (another ulu mall near bukit timah) to play pool and shopped at IMM. Had a super entertaining conversation at Mac, some of the highlights which include how digusting childbirth is (dont ask how we got there) and how a woman gave birth in the toilet and the baby got stuck in the toilet bowl full of crap.

Ah my friends. Keep me sane.

The Pussycat Dolls-I Hate This Part
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_sAnYKrm4E

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts. - Albert Einstein
How true this it when we are mugging and dont freaking understand the notes but try to convince ourselves to. Or when we manipulate our lab results. All been there, done that! So that's how people came up with theories. No wonder physics doesnt make sense.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

3:21 PM

stupid essay.

Give up, I wont.

I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.

When the world says, "Give up."
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."

Monday, November 10, 2008

who knew 10:28 PM

Every now and then,
more often in the night,
I will think of my grandmother.
And I will feel an unstoppable urge to cry.
There's so many words left unsaid,
so many things left undone.

I miss you.

And I never told you this,
but I love you.

Death leaves a heartache noone can heal,
Love leaves a memory noone can steal.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

countdown 1:46 AM

The days have been passing by in a state of blur. Assignments, tutorials, labs, tests, essays...

I feel tired just thinking about them.

2 more weeks to doomsday.
3 more weeks to end of misery.
4 more weeks to escapism.
7 more weeks to a new (hopefully better) year
7 more weeks to escapism no 2.

Can't wait for the new car to arrive! (:

This is just so random. Yes, my 50% essay has made me completely incoherent.

HSM3 - Can I Have This Dance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eV6t7fp3Wn4&feature=related
gosh.. they look sooo beautiful together!

I cannot do all the good that the world needs, but the world needs all the good that I can do. - Jana Stanfield